moving musings.

i'm having a hard time disassembling this house and packing it up... it's been so very much "home" and i'd like nothing more than to scoop it up and take it with us. i hate this part of moving this time. it's all good, it's just hard. it's hard saying goodbye to this home because it's meant peace, it's been our haven, and i just really love it. how very true, though, that our home is where we make it. i have to believe that once everything is in boxes and the wood floors are bare, it won't feel so much like home. it will make it easier.

as much as i hate to admit it, like i'd love to be someone who isn't this way, i struggle so much with changes like this. as good and exciting as they are, it's simply hard to start over in new places and i get nervous every time. i'll say it again, it's so good, but so hard. change is so necessary and i know it prevents me from becoming stagnant. if for nothing else, hard change makes me cling to my lovely Lord Jesus in an all-consuming, every-second kind of way. i need that every day. i'm ready again for Him to be the only thing that gets me through hard days.

this may sound ambivalent, fearing change and at the same time enjoying it, but i am really looking forward to this new direction. i love going on adventures with matt, and this is our newest and latest one. it is absolutely enjoyable to explore and do new things and find new things we love, all the while doing it together. i've always loved that about him, the fact that he leads me to be more adventurous than i would be on my own. in that sense, knowing i'm really not alone and doing this with my very best friend and favorite human in the world, this is going to be a fun adventure. :)